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"Now, if I was a bricklayer, I wouldn't build just anything; And if I was a ball player, I wouldn't play no second string. And if I were some jew'lry, baby; Lord, I'd have to be a diamond ring. If I were a secret, Lord, I never would be told. If I were a jug of wine, Lord, my flavor would be old. I could be most anything, But it got to be twenty-four karat solid gold, oh. If I were a gambler, You know I'd never lose, And if I were a guitar player, Lord, I'd have to play the blues. If I was a hacksaw, My blade would be razor sharp. If I were a politician, I could prove that monkeys talk. You can find the tallest building, Lord, I'd have me the house on top. Oh, let's go! All right, keep goin'! I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I got nothin' to my name. I'm the Penthouse Pauper; baby, I got nothing to my name. I can be most anything, 'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same. Oh, let's move to this song! Lord, look at my penthouse. "