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"I wake up every morning, Six o'clock, I`m right on time I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat 'Cause I`m the man of the year I`m the man of the year I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel 'Cause I`m the man of the year I`m the man of the year 'Cause I`m the man of the year I`m never, ever jealous Never, ever cruel I`m a graduate of Harvard Where I never broke the rules The queen made me a knight The pope made me a saint The president plays golf with me I make Madonna faint So why am I so lonely Depressed and in despair If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care It was the greatest funeral, I laid in perfect state And later I will meet the lord, I bet he just can`t wait To meet the man of the year I`m the man of the year Stand in line to meet the man I`m the man, I`m the man, I`m the man "