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"When my liquor cabinet is empty And the local package store is closed I am paid a visit by an enemy And the s.o.b. goes by bully jones He loves showing up out of nowhere And getting under my skin The sad thing is he's going to stay there If I don't score again Bully jones bully jones bully jones Someday I'm gonna beat him He'll kill me if I don't But until I can defeat him I'll keep on getting stoned Bully jones bully jones bully jones Big bad dude sure ain't very pretty His ugly is awfully hard to take He looks just like a cold turkey With a real bad case of the shakes He don't pick on men his own size He knows he can't win with those He likes us pale and sick guys Who are only skin and bones Bully jones bully jones bully jones Someday I'm gonna beat him He'll kill me if I don't But until I can defeat him I'll keep on getting stoned Bully jones bully jones bully jones I got some good friends who tie off And some who tie one on And just like me they have all lost The fight with bully jones Bully jones bully jones bully jones Someday I'm gonna beat him He'll kill me if I don't But until I can defeat him I'll keep on getting stoned Bully jones bully jones bully jones "